Medal Score

2009-05-15 01:31:22 by commentor

So should there be a ranking for the Medal Score? There's nothing on it in the help page niether. Clicking "Medal Score" on your account page only takes you to the list of medal enabled games.


lingering themes

2009-04-02 22:55:11 by commentor

the voting panel for submissions is still nina. was it cause of the whole china thing yesterday?



just because they unblocked newgrounds in china doesnt mean that ng hates us or left us because our economy sucks. if you actually read his first post, you would have noticed that they've been trying to get unblocked in china for a while now. Is it wrong to try to get new viewers? even if making money is a bonus doesnt mean theyre going to desert us. Newgrounds is still the great site that it was even before the whole China thing. I dare you to try to come up with a legitimate reason why it was a bad idea. And dear god, don't reply with some lame reason that you KNOW there's a easy rebuttal to. You have no idea how many people do that.

And that freedom of speech stuff in the PM that he got was pretty much bull. It had nothing to do with China. Many have lost their freedom of speech/press/etc. numerous times. one great example is on your secrets page.

Im not too clear on the altered reviews/messages either. care to clear that up?


February Writing Contest Entry [EDITED]

2009-03-01 18:49:58 by commentor
Updated

Comments: Attention: this is not part of the story. IM FINALLY DONE! After a month of procrastination, I finally started to finish what a started! Working 3 days straight starting Feb 27, I finally completed my story! But what's worse, is that I found that I was 875 words over! An afternoon spent dawdling and watching tv while deleting parts of my story was spent to bring you the edited version you see below. So here it is, 4000 words on the dot. Enjoy! BTW the original 4875 word story can be found in my profile or via this link. http://commentor.newgrounds.com/news/p ost/274504
BY THE WAY! MICROSOFT WORD COUNTS A PICTURE AS A WORD IN WORDCOUNTER. DON'T GET IT CONFUSED!

Chapter One:
I opened my eyes to the site of a clear blue sky. The sun was blinding. I surveyed my surroundings. Where am I? Last I remember, I being in a café. I lumbered through the tall grass, clutching my head, towards the lone tree that gave the only shade I could see for miles. I plopped myself down underneath the tree and sighed.
"How did I get here?" I said as a leaf gently floated to the ground.
A rumbling noise became apparent; softly at first, then growing louder and louder. My mind screamed STAMPEDE! I scrambled up the tree as figures popped up over the eastern horizon, then the western. This wasn't a stampede... it was a war! Quickly, I grabbed hold of the branch I had been sitting on! Battle cries tore through the air as the two armies clashed! I watched as warriors ran to be greeted by axes and spears. Suddenly, the tree began to move! The tree slowly tipped over! I wrap my hands around the branch as my sense of gravity flipped! Everything went black.
"Ugh...man, this is getting old..." I said as I pushed something off me.
It was night now. The sky was dark but sight was unhindered. Only now did I notice the arrow-ridden body that had once lay on my own. Bodies littered the plains.
"Warrior...from what land do you hail..." came a voice from behind me.
I spun around to see a man lying on his back, spear through his stomach. I had a sense of pity for the man. His sole purpose in life was to defend his king, and he is left here with a spear through his stomach. He must have sensed my pity from my long pause.
"Don't worry...death in battle, is an honor..."
"Uh...I'm from New York."
"I do not know of this land," coughed out the man", ye be enemy or ally to the crown?"
"Phillip, I am a...traveler."
"Ah, I see...weary traveler, I ask you for a favor...deliver this message to the king...it is my last request..."
His voice faded away with his final breath. I had no idea where I was or what just happened. I was left there alone with a worn envelope sealed with a ribbon and scarlet colored wax. I tucked the message into my jacket's inner pocket for safe keeping.
"SHIT! I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I'M GOING!"
Turn around.
"What? Who said that?" I implore, dumbfounded.
Just then, I heard the galloping of a horse. I spin around and see a horse driven cart rolled along in the distance. I sprinted in the direction of the road.
"Ay, wot you doin runnin in da mid a tha road?"
"I'm sorry," I wheezed out, "Can you take me to the king?"
"Git on, I'm headin in his way anyways."
"Thank you so much," I say as I climb into the cart.
The wooden wheels start to turn slowly and the cart begins to move at an even pace. The ocean of bodies grew smaller and smaller as we rode along.
"Well, it's a long way ta tha king's palace. See if ya can fit in sum shuteye fore we git there."
"I suppose that's a good idea," I say as I rest my head on a sack of wheat.
I look into the sky. It's still morning, technically. Half of the sky is still cloudy while the other half is greeting the sunrise. The last thing I see before I drift off to sleep is a giraffe shaped cloud.
I'm awake. My eyes are closed but I'm awake. I can feel dirt. Someone is going through my pockets. What if he's armed? What if there are more of them? I crack my eyes open barely. All I can see a thin light blue line. The suspense is killing me. I jump up and look around for my foe! There is nothing. A brown shaggy dog wanders up to me and sniffs my pocket. I reach into my pocket and feel something hard.
"Ah, the cookies from the café. So I wasn't dreaming."
The dog whimpers in hope of sympathy.
"Well...I am a bit hungry...I'll tell you what, we'll share it," I say as I kneel down.
The dog snatches it from my hand and I fall backwards. It runs off with my breakfast.
"Hey! That's what I get for trying to share with you?" I shout.
I begin to notice my surroundings. I'm on the side of a road. Where is the farmer? Did he just drop me here?
"The message!" I shout out in alarm.
I search my pockets frantically! My hand reaches into my jacket's inner pocket and feel the rough paper. I pull it out to confirm it was the right message, and sure enough, there is a worn envelope with a ribbon and a scarlet wax seal. I run my fingers over the sealand feel a crescent shape on the wax. I tuck the yellow envelope back into my inner pocket.
Look, it's the cart.
I turn and see a cart down the road.
"Wait, who said that?" I ask as I look around.
It's me.
"Me who?"
Me you.
"Me?"
It's complicated. Let's just say I'm your conscience.
"Uh...ok?"
I start to walk towards the cart.
"Looks like he was in a hurry, no wonder I was on the side of the road. I must have fallen off when he ran over one of these rocks."
Or he threw you over cause you wouldn't stop snoring.
"Oh, shut up."
As the cart gets closer, I notice it was overturned. The farmer gone and wheat scattered.
"This just gets weirder and weirder."
I can see a city from here, and by the looks of it, it's where the king resides. A large castle stands in the center of the city with a magnificent tower in center. I take my first step towards the enormous castle.
Chapter Two:
It's a beautiful sight, the endless field of grass bending and waving to the winds like an ocean. I near the castle. A colossal wall surrounds the edges of the city. Its white blocks radiate with a bright intensity contrasted with the lush green of the plains. Sentry towers were positioned every few hundred yards along the wall. A carriage stops abruptly in front of me, almost crushing my feet under its wheels. The driver pulls the door open and turns away.
"I need to get to the castle...but I don't have any money..."
He remains silent, waiting for my entry. I climb in and the carriage begins to move. A sharp turn nearly throws me out of the window; I dig my fingernails into the underside of the seat so I don't fall over! I stick my head out the window, attempting to ask the driver to slow down. I could see the palace behind us, growing smaller by the second.
"Hey! Where are you taking me? I have to get to the king!"
The hooded figure turns and spots me.
We have to get out of here!
On instinct, I climb out of the window, careful not to fall! As I reach for the luggage rack, a hand wraps around my ankle! The hooded figure turns and stares at me again! A low branch swishes by, nearly missing my head! I can see another branch coming up! I stick out my hands like I'm a secret agent, hoping to swing out of the carriage!
"Closer...closer..."
NOW!
I'm yanked out of the carriage, left hanging on the low branch as the carriage rides on. The hooded figure sticks his head out the window and glares at me. I run into the brush in hopes of eluding my captors. I dove through a bush and rolled down a rocky ravine. The sounds of my pursuers died away while I pushed through a few broken branches and emerged into a clearing. In it was a small stagnant stream within a deep hidden ravine. Its murky waters forced me to recall my pleasant Sunday afternoon in a café. I realize this is the first moment of peace I've had since I woke up in the grass. Shaking away my thoughts, I surveyed my surroundings and saw a haggard man walking towards me.
"Greetings, I saw the tussle thou had with the acolytes of the Scarlet Moon," said the man.
Great, what does this guy want?
"The Scarlet Moon? What's that?" I ask dumbfounded as he walks past me.
I hurry to keep up with him. He leads me to a door in the side of a cliff hidden behind a mesh of vines and bushes.
"You know not of the Scarlet Moon? They are cult that worships the demons. Thou should speak lightly of them if thou not wish for a most horrible end," he says as he walks in.
"So what are you doing down here anyways? Why aren't you in the city?"
"I am in hiding, you see, I was once a great man who wandered into dark territories. I helped the king in an assassination of the Scarlet Moon's third leader," he said in a low voice ", But enough of this old man's stories. For what reason were they chasing you?
"Oh, uh, sorry?" I say pathetically," You see, I was delivering a message and I was kidnapped by those guys."
"Oh, tis nothing. Twas only a board on top of a stump!" he chuckles out," But what is this about a message?"
I pull out the envelope and hold it out to him. He looks down at the paper. The ribbon falls to the floor, cracking the red wax slightly.
"How do you know so much about them?"
"I have been studying the Scarlet Moon undercover and helping the king discretely! Now quickly, get out befo-
BOOM! An explosion sends us rocketing against the opposite wall. As the smoke clears, two huge thugs step through the rubble. A hooded figure thrusts forward a bony finger.
"GET THEM!" the figure yelled.
On instinct, we run deeper into the cave, avoiding the two masses of muscle and pain barreling towards us.
"Those are soldiers of the Red Army!" he informed.
"And I'm guessing the charming man in the red robe is an acolyte?"
"Correct!" he yelled," Now follow me, there is a way out at the end of this tunnel!"
Our feet kick up dust as we sprint down the tunnel, guided only by the dim torches hanging on the walls. He sticks out his arm and grabs one of the torches.
"What are you doing?" I say inquisitively.
"Just watch!"
He drags the torch across the wall. Suddenly, a spark ignites and he drops the torch! The spark races up the wall. I look closer and notice a long fuse attached to the wall.
"RUN FASTER!" he yells at the top of his lungs.
My feet rush in a swift motion, propelling my forward with all my strength. I can see the door at the end now. The Red Soldiers are still behind us, charging at us with evil intent. I slam against the door and pry it open; we rush through and slam the door behind us. There is a ladder. I grab onto the cold steel of the bars and start to clamber upward. The rust mounds dig into my hand, giving me blisters.
The mountain is crumbling! Go go go!
I climb as fast as I possibly can.
"AHH!"
I turn around and I see the man 28 bars below me, hanging on one arm. His bar had snapped, leaving a jagged bar was impaled in his forearm. I slide down the ladder, the rust cuts and burn my hands. I hoist him onto my back and climb onward. BOOOM! The explosions are getting closer! I'm almost to the top! I slide the grate away and literally leap out of the hole! I put the man down and collapse from exhaustion onto the lush grass. Edward sticks out his uninjured hand.
Hoisting me up, me says, "Forgive me, I am Edward Graveston."
"Cool," I say as I shake his hand.
"Cool? Tis quite humid during summer is it not?"
I chuckled.
"Never mind."
My weary companion and I boldly marched through the city. It seemed as if an eternity had passed during our agonizing accent to the castle. Despite our exhausted state we had finally managed to make it to the castle. Now all that stood between us and our destination was a massive iron door. Ed flashes a gold crest. Immediately, two of the royal guards braced the door without hesitation and pushed with all their might. A loud creaking accompanied the slowly opening door. After the rattling of the chains had passed away, we marched forward. Ed's maimed hand finally caught the attention of a lone guard.
"Sir Edward, please accompany me to the infirmary. We will have your wound tended to."
"Yes, of course. I'll see you soon, Phillip."
He slips a vial of crimson liquid into my pocket and gives me a wink.
"What is it?"
He smiles and walks away.
I entered the throne room and immediately felt an aura of wisdom and nobility that seemed to radiate from the king. His stature and form was one which demanded respect. His clothing was extravagant yet moderate. He was a living legend. Yet despite all his greatness, he seemed tired, and worn down. His time in this world was near an end. A great shadow was cast over the king. Looming over him was a massive great sword of titanic proportions. It was battle scarred, clearly a killing machine, a legendary weapon. Right before my eyes sat what was once an ancient hero, a great king.
"Ah...yes...so it is time..." the king said in a rasped voice," Only you can save us now..."
Something's not right here.
Confused, I reached into my pocket for the letter. I meekly held forward my message.
"That will not be needed, Phillip," said a voice that did not belong to anyone in the room whom I could see.
I know that voice...
"How can you know that voice? You're my conscience," I say in a hushed voice.
A serrated sword thrust outward from the king's chest! The king's chest jutted out slightly, his head and eyes looking upward. The sword sank back into his chest and disappeared as a man stepped out from behind the throne brandishing the sword that had killed the king. He was draped in a black and crimson cape. His hair was tightly pulled back, resembling a vampire. His red eyes seemed to thirst for the blood of innocents. I wanted to step back, but the man's mesmerizing glare locked me in place.
"Hello, Phillip. I have been waiting for you..."
Chapter Three:
"I...I don't understand." I stammer out.
"Let me explain...you are the prophecy, Phillip. Legend tells of a man dressed in black will appear in the time of the Scarlet Moon's peal to oppose us..."
The wall behind him begins to crumble marble blocks crack and fall, smashing into the stone floors. As the dust clears, a sea of red stands behind him, spear tips point to the red sky. Crimson flags wave in the winds, flaunting red moons.
"Give up, Phillip...you have no chance..."
Battle cries reverberated through the air! I turn and run down the hall! As I near the front gates, Red soldiers step out from the doors in the main hall, blocking my exit. I skid to a halt. I'm trapped!
"You will never defeat Lord Vatu," sneers a Red Soldier.
I look around for a weapon! A soldier walks towards me, swinging a morning star over his head! Leaping at a suit of armor, I grasp the handle of a sword. I barrel roll to the side of the soldier and thrust the sword into his side! The blade slid into his rib cage, spraying blood on my chest! A second soldier swings an axe at me! It misses, digging its blade into the stone floor! There are too many! I slowly back up against the wall, eyeing each carefully. The three soldiers surround me slowly. CLANK! A Red Soldier collapses!
"Ed!" I yell, almost too excited to speak.
I slash at one of the Red Soldiers, barely missing him! Imperial Guards flood into the main hall and we easily overcome the two Red Soldiers. I can see the Red Army advancing into the main hall.
"Phillip! The Imperial Army is outside!" Ed yells, "Don't worry about the Red Soldiers! Fulfill the prophecy!"
I nod and I'm off! I race down the main hall back towards the throne room. The Red Army has advanced down the main hall. I sprint through the hall, dodging the advancing Red Soldiers. I'm focused only on getting to the throne room. The number of Red Soldiers I'm passing now has lessened, I'm almost there. As step into the throne room for a second time, I notice the king's lifeless body at the bottom of the steps.
"Vatu! I'm here to fulfill my prophecy!"
He stands from the throne, eyeing me carefully.
"Do you really think you can beat me...with such a pitiful weapon...?"
Vatu slowly descends the steps as I glare at him, sword ready.
"...if you insist..."
Vatu hunches over, clutching his head tightly. He lets out a cry of agony. His body writhes in pain! His spines and bones make sickening cracks as his cries ring through the air! His skin turns a pitch black, and his eyes turn completely red! Vatu straightens his back, towering over 40 feet above me. Vatu has undergone a metamorphosis into a demon!
"Do you see now?" Vatu bellows, "It is useless..."
I clench my sword tight and rush at him! Vatu smashes his fist into the floor, sending rubble flying in all directions! The ground ripples from the impact, sending me flying in to the wall! I stagger to my feet, and Vatu slams his hand into me! He presses me against the wall, grinning.
"You were doomed from the start..."he gloated, "You have failed, warrior!"
I crack my eyelids open, the demon's horrid breath envelopes me.
"What...is that? Is that..." I whisper, blood dripping from the corner of my mouth.
A brown shaggy dog charges towards the monster and leaps! He bites onto Vatu's calf! The demon lets out a roar and drops me! I tumble to the ground as Vatu swats away the dog. The dog flies across the room, skidding to a stop. He walks towards the canine, raising his fist into the air.
"Stop!" I yell, "Your fight is with me!"
Vatu turns to look at me. I'm on my feet. He ignores me and turns back to the dog to discover that he is gone. I charge at the demon and leap in the air! I swing my blade with all my might at Vatu! CRACK! Vatu swipes his claws at me and shatters my weapon! I land on my back, shielding myself from the falling shards.
"Do you understand now? You cannot defeat me!" he roared.
He thrusts his fist downward at me! I roll to my left, narrowly avoiding a horrible fate! The bricks crack and collapse under the force of the punch! A glare blinds me from behind the great beast. The monolithic sword stands impaled into the ground from falling off the collapsed wall. What am I thinking; I won't be able to lift that! Vatu takes another swing at me. I jump onto his hand and run up his arm! I jump off his shoulder and roll onto the floor behind him! He spins around and lets out a roar that sends a shiver down my spine. I sprint to the sword and grab the handle. I heave with all my strength, but the sword does not budge! A boulder smashes into the wall beside me, creating a massive hole in the wall.
The potion! Drink the potion!
I reach into my pocket and pull out the tiny vial of crimson liquid. I pop it open and put the small glass to my lips. The thick fluid rolls down my throat. It burns my throat with a sharp intense pain. My muscles tense as beads of sweat roll down my neck.
"What? Nothing happened!"
Vatu is charging at me now, I grip the handle once more and pull! The sword dislodges from the floor! I grasp the clutch of the sword and draw the sword from the floor! The sword is as light as a feather! The potion worked! I run at Vatu while he charges towards me. Time slows down; every second seems like a lifetime. Sweat drips from my chin as I run towards what could possibly be my death. The blade sinks into his torso. Black blood traces the scratches on the sword, dripping down onto the clutch. An expression of disbelief is frozen on the demon's face. Vatu slowly reaches for the blade jutting out from his torso. I thrust the sword deeper into his heart! He falters back, clutching his chest. I loosen my grip on the sword. Vatu lets loose an inhumane roar as his demonic body falls to the ground with the massive blade locked in him. He leaves a large impression on the blood-stained marble floor. The carcass slowly charred and burned into ashes. I stood there in disbelief. As quickly as it had come it subsided. Ed emerged into the wrecked throne room. He stood there, breathless. His eyes widened in amazement, unable to comprehend what had occurred in the room.
"You've done it! Hurrah!" he exclaims as he embraces me, "You've defeated Vatu!"
The few guards in the entrance cheer, notifying the rest of the army to cheer louder in return. Suddenly a headache wracked my head. Waves of pain gnawed at my mind while I moaned in agony. An ethereal essence then departed from my body. It took the shape of a young man. His form became solid. His eyes opened and fixed upon me.
"You've won, Phillip"
Chapter Four:
"Wait, I know that voice." I respond in confusion.
"Yes, I am your 'conscience,' Phillip," said the boy, "I'm sure you're very confused, and you're entitled to an explanation. I am Prince Kemal. I stole the Pendant of Iteil from Vatu's headquarters, an amulet that would have made his army fifty times stronger. His goons soon captured me afterwards. In the cage, I enchanted the pendant to become invisible. Unable to retrieve the whereabouts of the pendant from me, he locked me in his dungeon where I plotted my escape. I began to cast a teleportation spell, but Vatu found out and cast a counter-spell. The counter-spell forced me through time and melded me with your body. Vatu immediately teleported me back to this era, and you as well, where we journeyed to the castle and where you defeated Vatu, breaking the spell."
"Wait...but...how..."
"Ah, I'm sorry, but we must send you back before it's too late!"
Kemal begins an incantation of a strange dialect.
"Wait! I just defeated a demon and saved your kingdom! You're just going to send me back witho-"
Everything goes black. I wake up to the smell of pungent coffee beans. I jerk up and look around. I'm back in the café. My tea sits before me, no longer steaming. Yesterday's newspaper sits in front of me. Was it all a dream? I stand and start to leave. I stuff my hands into my pockets in disappointment.
"What's this?"
I pull out a worn yellow envelope. The edges are singed. In the middle of the envelope, a slightly cracked crescent moon of red wax covers the flap. Crumbs of wax fall from the chip in the seal. I reach into the envelope and pull out a weathered piece of paper with barely legible writing and smile.

February Writing Contest Entry [EDITED]



Comments: So here it is, the unedited version of my story for the contest, reaching a length of 4875 words! With epic scenes and more dialogue, I hope this arouses as much interest as how much time I spent working on it! (about 4 days straight; Feb 15, 27, 28, and the afternoon of March 1).

Chapter One:
I opened my eyes to the site of a clear blue sky. The sun was blinding. I surveyed my surroundings. Where am I? I remember being in a café then waking up here. I lumbered through the tall grass, clutching my aching head, towards the lone tree that gave the only shade I could see for miles. I plopped myself down underneath the tree and sighed.
"How did I get here?" I said as a leaf gently floated to the ground.
A rumbling noise became apparent; softly at first, then growing louder and louder. My mind screamed STAMPEDE! I scrambled up the tree as figures popped up over the eastern horizon, then the western. This wasn't a stampede... it was a war! Quickly, I grabbed hold of the branch I had been sitting on! Battle cries tore through the air as the two armies clashed! I watched as warriors ran to be greeted by axes and spears. Suddenly, the tree began to move! I could hear the popping of the roots as the tree slowly tipped over! I wrapped my hands around the branch as my sense of gravity flipped! Everything went black.
"Ugh...man, this is getting old..." I said as I pushed something off me.
It was night now. The sky was dark but sight was unhindered. Only now did I notice the arrow-ridden body that had once lay on me. Bodies lay dead around me. It seemed as if the carnage went on forever.
"Warrior...from what land do you hail..." said a voice from behind me.
I spun around to see a man lying on his back, spear through his stomach. I had a sense of pity for the man. His sole purpose in life was to defend his king, and he is left here with a spear through his stomach awaiting his death. He must have sensed my pity by my long pause.
"Don't worry...death in battle, is an honor..."
"Uh...I'm from New York."
"I do not know of this land," coughed out the man", ye be enemy or ally to the crown?"
"I am a...traveler."
"Ah, I see...weary traveler, I ask you for a favor...deliver this message to the king...it is my last request..."
His voice faded away with his final breath. I had no idea where I was or what just happened. I was left there alone with a worn envelope sealed with the ribbon and some scarlet colored wax. The kind they pour on the flap to seal it. I stood up. A stream of light flashed from the horizon. As the once dark blue sky changed to orange, I tucked the message into my jacket's inner pocket for safe keeping.
"SHIT! I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I'M GOING!"
Turn around.
"What? Who said that?" I implore, dumbfounded.
Just then, I heard the galloping of a horse. I spin around and see a horse driven cart rolled along in the distance. I sprinted in the direction of the road, hoping to get directions from the man.
"Ay, wot you doin runnin in da mid a tha road?"
"I'm sorry," I wheezed out, "Do you know which way the king is?"
"Now why wud ya needa see the king?" said the man, "Ah nevermind that, git on, I'm headin in his way anyways."
"Thank you so much," I say as I climb into the cart.
The wooden wheels start to turn slowly and the cart begins to move at an even pace. The ocean of bodies grew smaller and smaller as we rode along.
"So, who are ya? I saw ya runnin from da battle. You dun look much uva warrior."
"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not too sure about anything right now. All I know is that I have to get to the king."
"Well, it's a long way ta tha king's palace. See if ya can fit in sum shuteye fore we git there."
"I suppose that's a good idea," I say as I rest my head on a sack of wheat.
I look into the sky. It's still morning, technically. Half of the sky is still cloudy while the other half is greeting the sunrise. The last thing I see before I drift off to sleep is a giraffe shaped cloud.

I'm awake. My eyes are closed but I'm awake. I can feel dirt. Someone is going through my pockets. I don't know what to do, what if he's armed? What if there are more of them? I crack my eyes open just a little. All I can see a thin light blue line. The suspense is killing me. I jump up and look around for my foe! There is nothing. A brown shaggy dog wanders up to me and sniffs my pocket. I reach into my pocket and feel something hard.
"Ah, the cookies from the café. So I wasn't dreaming."
The dog whimpers in hope of sympathy.
"Well...I am a bit hungry...I'll tell you what, we'll share it," I say as I kneel down.
The dog snatches it from my hand and I fall backwards. It runs off with my breakfast.
"Hey! That's what I get for trying to share with you? You ungrateful little tramp!" I shout with anger, "Say, what happened to the farmer?"
I finally begin to notice my surroundings. I'm on the side of a road. Where is the farmer? Did he just drop me here? Suddenly I realize my situation.
"The message!" I shout out in alarm.
I search my pockets, then my other pockets, then my pockets inside my pockets. Why do they make clothes with so many pockets? I reach into my jacket's inner pocket and feel the rough paper. I pull it out to confirm it was the right message, and sure enough, I saw a worn envelope with a ribbon and a scarlet wax seal. I run my fingers over the seal. There is a shape of a crescent moon on the wax. I tuck the yellow envelope back into my inner pocket.
Look, it's the cart.
I turn and see a cart down the road.
"Wait, who said that?" I ask as I look around.
It's me.
"Me who?"
Me you.
"Me?"
It's complicated. Let's just say I'm your conscience.
"Uh...ok?"
I start to walk towards the cart.
"Looks like he was in a hurry, no wonder I was on the side of the road. I must have fallen off when he ran over one of these rocks."
Or he threw you over cause you wouldn't stop snoring.
"Oh, shut up."
As the cart gets closer, I notice it was overturned. The horse gone, wheat scattered, and farmer nowhere in sight.
"This just gets weirder and weirder."
I can see a city from here, and by the looks of it, it's where the king resides. A large castle stands in the center of the city. A magnificent tower reaches into the sky from the dead center of the castle.
"Well, I guess I'm walking."
I take my first step towards the enormous castle.

Chapter Two:
It's a beautiful sight, the endless field of grass bending and waving to the winds like an ocean. I near the castle. A colossal wall surrounds the edges of the city. Its white blocks radiate with a bright intensity contrasted with the lush green of the plains. Sentry towers were positioned every few hundred yards along the wall. I could feel the cold stares of the soldiers looking down at me from the towers watching every step I took, making sure I wasn't a threat. A spear tip lowered down to signal that I had gone far enough.
"Halt, ye be enemy or ally to the crown?" demanded a guard.
"Ally, I come bearing a message for the king, the dieing wish of a soldier."
"Let me see this message."
"Here." I say as I take out the envelope.
The guard's eyes widen. "The Scarlet Moon..." he whispers to himself.
"What was that?"
"Open the gates!" The guard yells out to the sentry.
The iron bars rise slowly. Chains rattle in the distance. I step through the gate. Townspeople crowd the stone-paved streets. Tall buildings stand on both sides, casting a shadow on the entire alley. A massive fountain stood in the middle, displaying a great battle of stone in the center. The man who had let me in waved out into the crowd. I begin to walk towards the palace, but a carriage stops abruptly in front of me, almost crushing my feet under its wheels.
"You gettin in or wot?" bellowed rather large man who appeared to be the driver.
"Um, yes. To the palace please."
"Gotcha"
I climb in and the carriage begins to move. The carriage jumps up at every stone we pass over. The carriage goes faster. I can see the peasants staring at me in the streets as the carriage continues its journey. A sharp turn nearly throws me out of the window; I dig my fingernails into the underside of the seat so I don't fall over! I stick my head out the window, attempting to ask the driver to slow down. But to my horror, I discover the man is gone! In his place, a hooded figure holds the reigns! Blood stained the seat, still sliding along the splintery wood against the wind. I could see the palace behind us, growing smaller by the second.
"Hey! Where are you taking me? I have to get to the king!"
The hooded figure turns and spots me. A second head emerges from behind him!
We have to get out of here!
The sound of glass shattering rings through my ears. I pull myself in to see a hand clenched onto the upper frame of the window! A foot swings down, kicking loose pieces of glass from the pane into the carriage! On instinct, I climb out of the window, careful not to fall! As I reach for the luggage rack, a hand wraps around my ankle! The hooded figure turns and stares at me again! A low branch swishes by, nearly missing my head! I can see another branch coming up! I stick out my hands like I'm a secret agent, hoping to swing out of the carriage! THWACK! The branch smashes into my hands, leaving blisters stabbed into my palms! I pull back my hands and squeeze them against each other, trying to numb the pain! Another branch is coming, I reach out once more!
"Closer...closer..."
NOW!
I'm yanked out of the carriage, left hanging on the low branch as the carriage rides on. The hooded figure sticks his head out the window and glares at me. I run into the brush in hopes of eluding my captors. I dove through a bush and rolled down a rocky ravine. The sounds of my pursuers died away while I pushed through a few broken branches and emerged into a clearing. In it was a small stagnant stream within a deep hidden ravine. Its murky waters forced me to recall my pleasant Sunday afternoon in a café. I suddenly realized the peace that we had and the hardships that one must endure to achieve it. Shaking away my thoughts, I surveyed my surroundings and saw a haggard man walking towards me.
"Greetings, I saw the tussle thou had with the acolytes of the Scarlet Moon," said the man.
Great, what does this guy want.
"The Scarlet Moon? What's that?" I ask dumbfounded as he walks past me.
I hurry to keep up with him. He leads me to a door in the side of a cliff hidden behind a mesh of vines and bushes.
"You know not of the Scarlet Moon? They are cult that worships the demons. Thou should speak lightly of them if thou not wish for a most horrible end," he says as he walks in.
I stand outside, thinking about the Scarlet Moon. He pokes his head out again.
"Are thou coming in or should I close the door?"
I run up to the door and step inside.
"So what are you doing down here anyways? Why aren't you in the city?"
"I am in hiding, you see, I was once a great man who wandered into dark territories. I helped the king in an assassination of the Scarlet Moon's third leader," he said in a low voice ", But enough of this old man's stories. What is the reason for your tumbling in and destroying my apocathary table?"
I look down and notice the broken planks under my feet.
"Oh, uh, sorry?" I say pathetically," You see, I was delivering a message and I was kidnapped by those guys."
"Oh, tis nothing. Twas only a board on top of a stump!" he chuckles out," But what is this about a message?"
I pull out the envelope and hold it out to him. His eyes widen as his mouth sits agape.
"I-Is that...a red ribbon?" he stammered out," GET OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!"
"What? Why? But I need help!"
"The Scarlet Moon is a cult of the demons! They enchant their messages with ribbons such as the one you hold in your hand! A red ribbon is a tracker!"
I look down at the paper in fear and yank off the ribbon. The red wax cracks slightly.
"How do you know so much about them?"
"I have been studying the Scarlet Moon undercover and helping the king discretely! Now quickly, get out befo-
BOOM! An explosion sends us rocketing against the opposite wall. As the smoke clears, two huge thugs step through the rubble. A hooded figure thrusts forward a bony finger.
"GET THEM!" the figure yelled.
On instinct, we run deeper into the cave, avoiding the two masses of muscle and pain barreling towards us.
"Those are soldiers of the Red Army!" he informed.
"And I'm guessing the charming man in the red robe is an acolyte?"
"Correct!" he yelled," Now follow me, there is a way out at the end of this tunnel!"
Our feet kick up dust behind us as we sprint down the tunnel, guided only by the dim torches hanging on the walls. He sticks out his arm and grabs one of the torches.
"What are you doing?" I say inquisitively.
"Just watch!"
He drags the torch across the wall. Suddenly, a spark ignites and he drops the torch! The spark races up the wall. I look closer and notice a long fuse attached to the wall.
"RUN FASTER!" he yells at the top of his lungs.
My feet rush in a swift motion, propelling my forward with all my strength. I can see the door at the end now. The Red Soldiers are still behind us, charging at us with evil intent. I slam against the door and pry it open; we rush through and slam the door behind us. There is a ladder. I grab onto the cold steel of the bars and start to clamber upward. The rust mounds dig into my hand, giving me blisters. BOOOM! Another explosion goes off! The mountain is crumbling! I climb as fast as I possibly can.
"AHH!"
I turn around and I see the man 28 bars below me, hanging on one arm. The rusted bar snapped! A jagged bar was impaled in his forearm. BOOOM! Another bomb detonated!
"Go deliver the message!"
"Not without you!"
Leave him! You have to get to the castle!
I slide down the ladder, the rust cuts and burn my hands. I hoist him onto my back and climb onward. BOOOM! The explosions are getting closer! I'm almost to the top! I slide the grate away and literally leap out of the hole! I put the man down and collapse from exhaustion onto the lush grass.
"Forgive me, I am Edward Graveston."
"cool. Ill call you Ed. I'm Phillip." I say as I shake his hand.
"Cool? Tis quite humid during summer is it not?"
I chuckled.
"Never mind."
My growling stomach and parched throat consistently strained for attention, but my iron will kept me onward. My weary companion and I boldly marched through the city, but our handicapped state hindered progress. It seemed as if an eternity had passed during our agonizing accent to the castle. During the accent, I noted the battle-scarred people in the imperial district, the smoking forges, and glamorous mansions were both frightening and magnificent. Despite our exhausted state we had finally managed to make it to the king's throne room. Now all that stood between us and our destination was a massive iron door clad with gold trimmings and metal chains. Ed flashed a gold crest. Immediately, two of the royal guards braced the door without hesitation and pushed with all their might. A loud creaking accompanied the slowly opening door. After the rattling of the chains passed away a long, awkward silence ensued. All eyes were on us. We mustered our courage and marched forward. Ed's maimed hand finally caught the attention of a lone guard.
"Sir Edward, please accompany me to the infirmary. We will have your wound tended to."
"Yes, of course. I'll see you soon, Phillip."
He slips a vial of crimson liquid into my pocket and gives me a wink.
"What is it?"
He smiles and walks away.
I entered the throne room and immediately felt an aura of wisdom and nobility seemed to radiate from the king. His stature and form was one which demanded respect. His clothing was extravagant yet moderate. He was a living legend. Yet despite all his greatness, he seemed tired, and worn down. His time in this world was near an end. A great shadow was cast over the king. Looming over him was a massive great sword of titanic proportions. It was battle scarred, clearly a killing machine, a legendary weapon. Right before my eyes sat what was once an ancient hero, a great king. He just sat there deep in thought, stroking his white beard.
"Ah...yes...so it is time..." the king said in a rasped voice," Only you can save us now..."
Something's not right here.
Confused, I reached into my pocket for the letter. I meekly held forward my message.
"That will not be needed, Phillip," said a voice that did not belong to anyone in the room whom I could see.
I know that voice...
"How can you know that voice? You're my conscience," I say in a hushed voice.
A serrated sword thrust outward from the king's chest! The king's chest jutted out slightly, his head and eyes looking upward. The sword sank back into his chest and disappeared as a man stepped out from behind the throne brandishing the sword that killed the most revered man in the entire kingdom. He was draped in a black and crimson cape. His hair was tightly pulled back. Gold trim laced the top and bottom of the cape. His red eyes seemed to thirst for the blood of innocents. I wanted to step back, but the man's mesmerizing glare locked me in place. Flooded with fear and terror, I could do nothing but listen to his arrogant speech.
"Hello, Phillip. I have been waiting for you..."
Chapter Three:
"I...I don't understand." I stammer out.
"Let me explain...you are the prophecy, Phillip. Legend tells of a man dressed in black will appear in the time of the Scarlet Moon's peal to oppose us..."
"M-Me...?"
"Yes..."
The wall behind him begins to crumble marble blocks crack and fall, smashing into the stone floors. As the dust clears, a sea of red stands behind him, spear tips point to the red sky, darkened by the black clouds. Crimson flags wave in the winds, flaunting red moons.
"Give up, Phillip...you have no chance..."
Run!
Battle cries reverberated through the air! I turn and run down the hall, out of the throne room! As I near the front gates, Red soldiers step out from the doors in the main hall, blocking my exit. I skid to a halt. I'm trapped!
"You will never defeat Lord Vatu," sneers a Red Soldier.
I look around for a weapon! A soldier walks towards me, swinging a morning star over his head! I leap at a suit of armor and grasp the handle of the sword. I barrel roll to the side of the soldier and thrust the sword into his side! The blade slid into his rib cage, spraying blood on my chest! A second soldier swings an axe at me! It misses, digging its blade into the stone floor! There are too many! I slowly back up against the wall, eyeing each carefully. The three soldiers surround me slowly. CLANK! A Red Soldier collapses!
"Ed!" I yell, almost too excited to speak.
I slash at one of the Red Soldiers, barely missing him! Imperial Guards flock into the main hall and we easily overcome the two Red Soldiers. I can see the Red Army advancing into the main hall.
"Phillip! The Imperial Army is outside!" Ed yells, "Don't worry about the Red Soldiers! Go fulfill the prophecy!"
I nod and I'm off! I race down the main hall back towards the throne room. The Red Army has advanced down the main hall. I sprint through the hall, dodging the advancing Red Soldiers. I'm focused only on getting to the throne room. The number of Red Soldiers I'm passing now has lessened, I'm almost there. I hope the Imperial Army managed to fight off the Red Soldiers. I step into the throne room for a second time. The king's body lies at the bottom of the steps, limp and lifeless. That'll be you if you fail...you better not lose this, Phillip.
"Vatu! I'm here to fulfill my prophecy!"
He stands from the throne, eyeing me carefully.
"Do you really think you can beat me...with such a pitiful weapon...?"
Vatu slowly descends the steps, taking no precaution whatsoever from my sword. I glare at him, sword ready.
"...if you insist..."
Vatu hunches over, clutching his head tightly. He lets out a cry of agony. His body writhes in pain! His spines and bones make sickening cracks as his cries ring through the air! His skin turns a pitch black, and his eyes turn completely red! Vatu straightens his back. He towers over 40 feet above me. Vatu has undergone a metamorphosis into a demon!
"Do you see now?" Vatu bellows, "It is useless..."
I clench my sword tight and rush at him! Vatu smashes his fist into the floor, sending rubble flying in all directions! The ground ripples from the impact, sending me flying in to the wall! I stagger back to my feet, and Vatu slams his hand into me! He presses me against the wall, grinning.
"You were doomed from the start..."he gloated, "You have failed, warrior!"
I crack my eyelids open, the demon's horrid breath envelopes me.
"What...is that? Is that..." I whisper, blood dripping from the corner of my mouth.
A brown shaggy dog charges towards the monster and leaps! He bites onto Vatu's calf! The demon lets out a roar and drops me! I tumble to the ground as Vatu swats away the dog. The dog flies across the room, skidding to a stop. He walks towards the canine, raising his fist into the air.
"Stop!" I yell, "Your fight is with me!"
Vatu turns to look at me. I'm on my feet. He ignores me and turns back to the dog to discover that he is gone. I charge at the demon and leap in the air! I swing my blade with all my might at Vatu! CRACK! Vatu swipes his claws at me and shatters my weapon! I land on my back, shielding myself from the falling shards.
"Do you understand now? You cannot defeat me!" he roared.
He thrusts his fist downward at me! I roll to my left, narrowly avoiding a horrible fate! The bricks crack and collapse under the force of the punch! A glare blinds me from behind the great beast. The monolithic sword stands impaled into the ground from falling off the collapsed wall. What am I thinking; I won't be able to lift that! Vatu takes another swing at me. I jump onto his hand and run up his arm! I jump off his shoulder and roll onto the floor behind him! He spins around and lets out a roar that sends a shiver down my spine. I sprint to the sword and grab the handle. I heave with all my strength, but the sword does not budge! A boulder smashes into the wall beside me, creating a massive hole in the wall.
The potion! Drink the potion!
I reach into my pocket and pull out the tiny vial of crimson liquid. I pop it open and put the small glass to my lips. The thick fluid rolls down my throat. It burns my throat with a sharp intense pain. My muscles tense as beads of sweat roll down my neck.
"What? Nothing happened!"
Vatu is charging at me now, I grip the handle once more and pull! The sword dislodges from the floor! I grasp the clutch of the sword and draw the sword from the floor! The sword is as light as a feather! The potion worked! I run at Vatu while he charges towards me. Time slows down; every second seems like a lifetime. Sweat drips from my chin as I run towards what could possibly be my death. The blade sinks into his torso. Black blood traces the scratches on the sword, dripping down onto the clutch. An expression of disbelief is frozen on the demon's face. Vatu slowly reaches for the blade jutting out from his torso. I thrust the sword deeper into his heart! He falters back, clutching his chest. I loosen my grip on the greatsword. Vatu lets loose an inhumane roar as his demonic body falls to the ground with the massive blade locked in him. He leaves a large impression on the blood-stained marble floor. The carcass slowly charred and burned into ashes, creating a horrid aroma. I stood there in disbelief, pondering over what I had just achieved. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead. Suddenly a headache wracked my head. Waves of pain gnawed at my mind while I moaned in agony. As quickly as it had come it subsided. Ed emerged into the wrecked throne room. His tunic was painted with streaks of red. His right arm brandished a large bandage that had likely saved his life. He stood there, breathless. His eyes widened in amazement, unable to comprehend what had occurred in the room.
"You've done it! Hurrah!" he exclaims as he embraces me, "You've defeated Vatu!"
The few guards in the entrance cheer, notifying the rest of the army to cheer louder in return. Suddenly another unbearable headache returned, stronger than ever. My muscles ached with pain. The room began to spin. Everything turned to a blur. For a slight moment I was able to see two of everything. An ethereal essence then departed from my body. It took the shape of a young man. All of his features closely resembled that of my own. We easily may have been mistaken as twins, except that his untamed hair and beard were a lot longer than my own. His form became solid. His eyes opened and fixed upon me.
"You've won, Phillip"
Chapter Four:
"Wait, I know that voice." I respond in confusion.
"Yes, I am your 'conscience,' Phillip," said the boy, "I'm sure you're very confused, and you're entitled to an explanation. I am Prince Kemal. I stole the Pendant of Iteil from Vatu's headquarters. His goons soon captured me afterwards. In the cage, I enchanted the pendant to become invisible. Unable to retrieve the whereabouts of the pendant from me, he locked me in his dungeon where I plotted my escape. I began to cast a teleportation spell, but Vatu found out and cast a counter-spell. The counter-spell forced me through time and melded me with your body. Vatu immediately teleported me back to this era, and you as well, where we journeyed to the castle and where you defeated Vatu, breaking the spell."
"Wait...but...how..."
"Ah, I'm sorry, but we must send you back before it's too late!"
Kemal begins an incantation of a strange dialect.
"Wait! I just defeated a demon and saved your kingdom! You're just going to send me back witho-"
Everything goes black. I wake up to the smell of pungent coffee beans. I jerk up and look around. I'm back in the café. My tea sits before me, no longer steaming. Yesterday's newspaper sits in front of me. Was it all a dream? I stand and start to leave. I stuff my hands into my pockets in disappointment.
"What's this?"
I pull out a worn yellow envelope. The edges are singed. In the middle of the envelope, a slightly cracked crescent moon of red wax covers the flap. Crumbs of wax fall from the chip in the seal. I reach into the envelope and pull out a weathered piece of paper with barely legible writing on it and smile.

February Writing Contest Entry [ORIGINAL]


blam/save points?

2009-02-25 19:51:38 by commentor

so we get blam/save points when we vote on an "under judgement" submission. if you vote 2, 3, 4, or 5 on a submission and it gets passed, then you get a point. and if you vote 0 or 1 on a submission and it gets blammed then you also get a point.

my question is, why bother voting 1, 2, 3, or 4? isn't it pointless to do so if we want it to be blammed/passed? if we want it to be blammed, we vote 0 or 1, but if we vote 1, then theres a less chance for it to get blammed. and the same goes for passing a submission.

also, there is no point in actually playing the game or watching it for more than 3 seconds. the only ones that actually get blammed are the ones that are random submissions that have loops of flashing lights intended to give us siezures. almost everything else will be passed anyways, so why bother? we can just see if the art is good then vote.


bleh

2007-09-22 20:50:56 by commentor
Updated

god, people flag your comment unhelpful because you have an opinion. hey! i wrote the reasons! and i didnt put html or abusive comments. Its not unhelpful if its against your opinion. and most of the things i write are true. sometimes you guys are just too blind to admit it.